A Long Time Coming

3 Feb

I haven’t blogged since September 2012. It’s funny to me now that I stopped blogging after my Girl’s Trip to SPI. I remember when the idea for that trip was hatched. It was April of 2012. My girlfriends and I were at a home party smelling little pots of scented wax and buying things we didn’t need as ladies are wont to do at such gatherings. A friend mentioned her milestone birthday coming that September and the possibility of renting a beach house to get away in celebration. I remember the shared buzz of excitement about it and being on the cusp of beginning my first official round of fertility treatment, my optimistic resolve that I would be pregnant on the trip. I laugh at myself now but I remember making the “giant rounded belly” motion and all of my friends smiling and nodding happily, so sure that it would be true for me. As you know, it wasn’t true and I instead used the Girl’s Trip as a salve, fresh off of the disappointment of failed cycles and battered hopes.

What does this have to with blogging? I stopped blogging when things got real, when it got too tough for me to share my life here. Today, the Girl’s Trip seems like another lifetime. I’ve thought about coming back to blogging so often over the last 17 months but it just seemed so daunting to catch up, to explain. I’ve felt like writing out my experience would be too heavy and would make it impossible to have a second blog entry that didn’t feel ridiculous. Mostly, it just seems almost impossible to remember, much less put into words and do justice to everything I want to share. So, I’m not going to. Here’s the last 17 months in photo form:

Fall 2012:

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Winter 2012-2013:

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Spring 2013:

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Summer 2013:

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Fall 2013:

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Winter 2013-2014:

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So, there it is. Even though this was basically a cop-out, I feel lighter somehow. It’s nice just to get it out there. The good, the bad, and the absolutely heartbreaking. I’ll fill in the gaps over time but for now at least, I’m glad to be back.

Girl’s Trip to SPI, TX

11 Sep

I was supposed to update on weight loss today but I forgot to weigh myself this morning, so that’ll be tomorrow. For today, some random photos from my trip to South Padre Island this weekend.

Those tiny people in the distance are two of my friends. The beach was interesting because there was the shallow area, then a deep area, then a sand bar that was awesome for sitting on. Those are random children.

My friend C, doing what she did the entire time…read a book in the shade. :)

This is my friend K doing what she did the entire time…dudes, she is single. Hit me up if you are interested. Haha!!

This is me keeping my constant ghost-white state in tact. I sat with my back in the sun for literally 10 minutes and have a shoulder sunburn. Ridiculous. Also ridiculous are those umbrellas. They look so unassuming just sitting there blocking the shade, but I assure you they are not. On Sunday I had to chase them down the beach. I had unfortunately packed some pre-massive weight loss shorts and running down the beach after rogue umbrellas + too big shorts = sight to be seen. Thank God there are no pictures of this.

I also made some sand art:

And because I am a sap…

I didn’t take any other pictures the rest of the trip, but here are a few some others took of us:

K and I

C and I.

Both of these pictures were taken at a restaurant where I ordered a “faceless flounder.” I wanted some fresh seafood, but the idea of those beady little eyes on my plate was just too much for me. I asked the waiter for flounder sans-face and he laughed but had the kitchen do it. He said they also got a laugh out it.

Lastly, the whole group:

Back tomorrow with some regularly scheduled programming. Until then, enjoy Tuesday!

Monday on a Tuesday

4 Sep

Both this week and next my normal Monday posts are happening on Tuesday, today due to the Labor Day holiday and next Monday due to a girl’s trip to the beach. Both fine reasons to put off blogging I think.

The details:

  • Weight loss goal #1 – 25 lbs lost (goal set 8/13)
  • Weight loss this week – 0.5 lbs
  • Progress to date: 4.0 lbs lost
  • Pounds to go: 21.0
  • Overall weight loss goal: 50lbs
  • Pounds to go: 46.0

This week was awesome on both the workout and food fronts. I got in four runs (I just typed this as funs…I think that’s a good sign) and spent two full days refinishing a piece of furniture in my garage (blog to come.) I also kept it in check during a Labor Day BBQ and counted calories through the weekend. I don’t really know how this all equaled out into such a crappy loss for the week, but I have a feeling my “monthly friend” might be playing some tricks on the scale…frustrating. Next week will show it if that’s the case, so for now I just need to keep on the path and not get discouraged. Goals are mostly the same as last week; keep eating in check and hit the gym at least four times this week. Even with my lackluster showing on the scale, it was a banner weekend for weight loss in the Ford House…Randall joined me at the gym for the first time ever. He was in such a good mood post-swim and is planning to go with me tonight. He has also been very strict about keeping his calorie journal, so I am very proud of him for making this change.

We were supposed to go out of town this weekend, but a series of factors kept us home instead. We had a great weekend in that we didn’t really go much of anywhere but got a lot done. I am extremely pleased with how our living room is coming together and can’t wait to blog the finished product. I actually had one of those moments where you just take in the room and feel great about it. We have lived in our builder-grade house for four years now, so it’s been awhile since I have felt this way but it’s a great feeling to have back. Now that I have adequately teased you all about that…enjoy your Tuesday! :)

Day by day, soon the change will come.

29 Aug

I have wanted to write this post since Monday, but yesterday was a bitter IF day for me and I just couldn’t get the tone right. Through two virtual strangers, I had the rough realization that sometimes you can do everything right and use the biggest, baddest guns that exist to fight your battles and still lose. I have to believe we will eventually win or I will go crazy, so seeing things turn out like they did for these two was a bit of a challenge to that faith.

Oddly, a small bit of restoration in this faith came from the most unlikely of sources: the Duggars. An odd choice for an infertile, 19 Kids and Counting has long been one of my guilty pleasures. TLC re-aired the episode of the loss of their 20th child before the season premiere and something about hearing Michelle Duggar say “the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away” really struck me. I am not at all what you would call uber-religious. I have a rough time with some of the doctrines of the Christian faith and consider myself more spiritual than anything…but something about the teary voice of a mother immediately grieving such a loss gave me contemplative pause. I feel slightly ridiculous even writing this, but it also kind of seemed like something worth sharing; so there it is.

Anyway, I digress, so….Monday. After work on Monday I headed to the gym for the first “real” run in a long time, probably 3-4 months. Thinking I might need some help regaining my running fitness I started on Week 3, Day 1 of Couch to 5k. This was a decent place to start as it’s not killing me to do it but it’s also not a cake walk. Three quarters of the way through my run Avicii’s Silhouettes came on. I initially kind of wavered on even putting it on the playlist. It’s an electronic song, so it’s got a decent beat but it’s not your traditional meathead, eff yeah! running playlist fare. Surprisingly, it turns out it was just what I needed. The lyrics are absolutely perfect for someone on any kind of journey, but seemed especially fitting for me in both the weight loss and after yesterday, infertility arenas. I need to remember this when I am burnt out on calorie counting or feeling too lazy for the gym or having a rough day. Change will come, I just have to help it happen.

Press play, fast forward
Non stop we have the beaten path before us
It was all there, in plain sight
Come on people, we have all seen the sunshine
We will never get back to
To the old school
To the old grounds, it’s all about the new found
We are the newborn, the one who wanna bounce
(We are the future and were here to stay)

We’ve come a long way since that day
And we will never look back, at the faded silhouette
[3x]

We’ve come a long way since that day
And when you never look back
At the faded silhouette
x 2

(never look [2x])
Yeah it faded to you

Straight ahead on the pathway before us
Day by day, soon the change will come
Don’t you know we took big step forward
Just either way
We’re gonna pull the trigger
And we’re gonna give up to
To the old school
To the old grounds
Its’ all about the new found
We are the new born
The world knows all about us

We’ve come a long way since that day
And we will never look back, at the faded silhouette
[3x]

We’ve come a long way since that day
And we will never look back
(never look [2x])

Walking the Walk and Bouncing the Bounce

27 Aug

This morning I really had to walk the walk after talking the talk on Friday. In the last hour I have really had to focus on those positives of working downtown. It’s raining and Randall broke my umbrella a week ago, so I am rocking the drowned rat this morning, with both hairstyle and makeup completely gone:

I called in breakfast on my way in (see, a perk of downtown!) asking for two eggs over medium and two slices of whole wheat toast, no butter (280 cals for those playing along at home.) I got to the restaurant and the server greeted me with a, “Did you forget your umbrella???” It took a lot not to respond in some sarcastic way about allowing the rain to soak me getting me closer to nature and the mystical chi or something but I chose the karma high road and laughed it off. I got my food and headed into work only to open the container to see eggs that were barely over easy. In an effort to accurately document my morning, I took a picture of those too but just looking at the goopy, raw egg whites in the picture made me gag, so I decided to spare you.

Either way, I am dryly ensconced in my office now, so onward and upward to the normal Monday happenings.

The details:

  • Weight loss goal #1 – 25 lbs lost (goal set 8/13)
  • Weight loss this week – 1.5 lbs
  • Progress to date: 3.5 lbs lost
  • Pounds to go: 21.5
  • Overall weight loss goal: 50lbs
  • Pounds to go: 46.5

This week was much better than last week on both the food and workout fronts. I was able to stick to my calorie goal most days and not completely blow it out on the days when I didn’t. I also got in four exercise sessions, two traditional by taking in a couple of runs and two not so traditional by deep cleaning for hours yesterday and competing in the neighborhood challenge involving the monster below on Saturday:

Image Credit

I realize some back story is probably needed here. have a really awesome neighborhood. We have a close knit group of about 20 neighbors (including kids) and tend to hang out quite a bit. Saturday was the 7th birthday party of one of the kids and the entire neighborhood was headed to a local indoor inflatable park. Over entirely too many drinks on Friday night it was decided that there would be a neighborhood challenge between the adults for ultimate jumping champion. Having been there before, one dad suggested we use the inflatable above for our challenge. While this looks like child’s play with it’s fun colors and bouncy nature, don’t be fooled. This is the best cardio workout of your life when combined with the need to pulverize your neighbors in competition. There are climbing walls and things to crawl under, over, through and around all while wearing only socks and on a completely unstable inflated raft thing. Having to dodge children added to the challenge. :)

I am sad to say that I was not crowned neighborhood jumping champion. I did however make it through five heats, so I feel like I accomplished something and seriously thought I might die after the fifth time through in half an hour. My lungs were screaming and my heart was racing, so while maybe it wasn’t traditional cardio I’m still calling it a damn good workout.

Checking in with the goals from last week:

  1. Stick to a calorie intake of 1200-1300 on days when I do not workout, adjust for calories burned during workouts on days that I do.
  2. Get in some form of workout at least four times this week.
  3. Dinner out limited to three times max this week.

Unfortunately three was a bust this week as we ate at a restaurant probably five or six times. The other two went very well though, so this week is a solid B-. The goals for next week are the same:

  1. Stick to a calorie intake of 1200-1300 on days when I do not workout, adjust for calories burned during workouts on days that I do.
  2. Get in some form of workout at least four times this week.
  3. Dinner out limited to three times max this week.

My workout partner in crime came back from her cruise vacation on Saturday, so I am looking forward to getting in some more runs and some gym time. We also have to paint her bedroom sometime this week…so I’ll make sure to paint vigorously for max calorie burn.

Until next time…have a good week!

Finding My Grace Friday

24 Aug

It’s Friday, only eight more hours (if you work an 8-5) until the weekend! Randall finished our new living room floors (blog to come) and we plan to pick paint colors for our walls and maybe start the process of putting all of the trim back on. I also want to work on my pie project and get a run or two in. Overall it should be an enjoyable weekend.

Without further ado…

1. What is something small that you take for granted each day? Working downtown. I take for granted the 15 restaurants within a three minute walk or the prime people interaction my .3 mile walk to and from the parking garage affords me each day. Sometimes it gets old when you are walking to the parking garage in the rain or it’s 108 degrees in the shade, but overall I am lucky to have such a fun work environment right outside my office door.

2. What is something you know you are so lucky to have that others don’t? Food. I know this seems all “we are the world” to say, but it’s true. Last night Randall and I were at a Chinese buffet and as I searched the aisles and aisles of food on steamer tables for some low-cal fare I was absolutely struck at the sheer volume of food to be had just in this one restaurant. On the surface I “know” how lucky I am to have this but in truth I have never been on the other side. This sounds “Oprah-esque” but I feel like there is some room for personal growth here.

3. What is something you know you need to be more grateful for and need to work on? I am very blessed in my life. Beyond blessed really and I need to start paying the forward. My goal before the next ‘Finding My Grace’ post is to identify something I can do to begin this process and maybe undertake the aforementioned personal growth.

4. How did you do on being more grateful for your #3 item from last week? I have been working on letting go of “why” the weight is here and the blame I feel for myself and putting a large amount of effort into making the weight a thing of the past. I feel good about where I am headed, still not so much about where I am so there is still some work to be done here.

Until next time, have a good weekend. :)

Pie Season

22 Aug

I am trying to make an effort to blog more than once a week, thus a rare mid-week blog! :)

While recently perusing the time-suck that is Pinterest I noticed a pie-related pin trend. It seems that as the temps begin to cool down and school starts again, people have pies on the brain. For me, pies have long been the desserts my great-grandmother makes at Thanksgiving that I steer clear of due to the “cow snot” layer of meringue or some fruit combo I deem weird. I am and always have been a cupcake and cookies girl, but as I get older I have realized there is enough dessert room to go around.

In the past year or so, I have begun dipping my toe into the pie waters. I have found myself ordering a slice of post-dinner pie or, still having a “cow-snot” aversion, exploring the pie beneath the meringue at holiday gatherings. It’s probably a combination of the abnormally cooler weather here in Texas and the numerous recent mentions of pies, but I am declaring this fall pie season in the Ford house. I want to learn to make a homemade, flaky pie crust and explore some of my own weird fruit combos. I will probably even make a few chocolate variations since I just can’t help myself. There might be some meringue, but no promises there as the cow snot moniker is a sticking one.

As for how this all fits in with my weight loss goals (trust me it does!), one of the things I love about using MyFitnessPal and calorie counting as a method of losing weight is that things like pie season don’t kill you. Through many, many failed weight loss attempts, I have learned that it is completely unrealistic to expect to fully embrace healthy eating as a lifestyle and deprive yourself of things (like pie.) The trick to making the pie season idea mesh with my weight loss goals is simple: eat a slice of the pie, not the whole pie. If you want more pie, you have to earn it. A slice of blueberry pie is around 300 calories, so for me that’s a 20-25 minute run. Like the stickers, pins and shirts say…I like to run because I really, really, really like dessert.

I have my grandmother’s pie crust recipe and received the blueberry and pumpkin pie (below) versions of Martha Stewart’s ceramic pie plate when we got married, so that seems like as good of place to start as any. I will probably attempt the blueberry this weekend..so stay tuned.

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